Brainy Pik

College Essay Draft

Austin Debina

9/7/12

English

NYU College Essay Draft

Topic: Indicate a significant person, historical/fictional/local/relative who has an influence on you.

Describe an event that has had a great effect on you.

            Over four years ago I had reported her to Child Protective Services, since ten she holds it against me. I understand now how foolish and selfish of me it was to do that. Now she is going to be in their system forever because of one incident that was entirely my fault. It was my fault for the lecture and my fault for receiving my discipline. I owe it to her to do what ever I can to pay her back. My mom has done May things not just for me but also for my whole family, including her parents and brother. No just with money or labor, but also with her love. Her love and support is what has brought me to where I am now, I may not be perfect but I am a good kid.

            It was a normal day, like any other except in school I had received detention by my elementary school teacher. Now my teacher is really polite and sweet but what had done was very naughty. My teacher is a short middle-aged lady with light straight brown hair and she leans more on the skinny side rather than portly. So what happen that day was we were in our small 5^th Grade class with all the lights off and we were watching a documentary on something I didn’t care about. I wasn’t paying attention instead I was chatting with my friend. When we finished the video and the room went black, to be funny I crawled under the table ever so stealthy in order to scare my friend. Instead I had bitten his hand, at first it was supposed to be a small bite until I had some sort of spasm.

            He screamed and the lights came on and I was blinded from being used to the dark, my teacher had yelled, “What happened!” “I…I…I was bitten. He bit me!” He screamed pointing to me. “I was just trying to play!” I said. “I was just trying to make him laugh” At this point I knew I was busted, I knew she was going to give me detention, send me to the office and call my parents, all in that order which is what she did.

            I had just gotten home from school hoping that when they said they would call my mom they were just scaring me. But instead she came right up to me yelling and scolding me. I can’t explain what she said because it would be too inappropriate if I were to. After yelling and yelling and more yelling she finally stopped and it was silent. She talked with a calm voice with a hint of anger when she asked me why I did it.  So I explained which is what set her off, she approached me hands clenched.

             She didn’t punch but she gave me the worse spankings of my life, which is why I though it was abuse and told her to take me to Child Protective Services. She took me there but what they said was “Its not abuse, you just got spankings which is allowed.” I realized even after reporting her for something I did she still loves me and supports me in every thing I do. Through thick and thin she is always with me supporting me even if I’m wrong, she’ll do it because I am her son.

After crying I went home which was followed bye a long lecture from my dad and a 1-month punishment. After punishment I said I was sorry and carried on with the rest of my life. Now every time I get in trouble it’s always “Well Austin as the older one you are not the good example which is what your supposed to be, especially since you reported me.” Or “Now I can’t touch you or else you’ll just report me to CPS”

Till this day she stands with me, guiding me and also helping me make my way to adulthood. She gives me advice about how to go about my way in high school, even though sometimes I don’t listen. She still tries even thought I reported her.

           

           

COA Poster

Word Choice Graphic

A black man sits patiently while waiting for the chair that will bring him his death. Also the silence and focus of the 5 haole officers make him worried yet serious.